Wow, so much has happened since my last posting...I know, it's been forever, but a lot has been going on. I promise to start writing more, at least 3 times a week. I promise.
Greg and I are no more, which sucked at the time, but now I see that it was for the best. Ron and I haven't talked since June, and I haven't talked to my mom for almost a month. I've also been working more, again which sucks, but we are so short staffed and I really don't have a choice, plus I can use the extra money.
Anyhoo, Greg and I stopped seeing each other in May, and it was freaky what happened. The girl he was involved with prior to me came back into his life. Now normally this wouldn't be such a surprise, but this girl never told him she loved him, even after they had dated for 18 months. He had asked her to marry him, and she basically laughed at him and said no. When she found out that he was seeing someone (me) she decided to give him a call and tell him she'd been thinking about him, and maybe they could try to work things out. That wasn't an option to him, but it opened the door to all the feelings he had been trying to keep out while we dated - you know, fear of being hurt again, not being able to trust someone, etc. He basically told me he was afraid of me and what I could potentially do to him, and he needed time. Blah blah blah. I'd given the man 15 months of my time, and I didn't really have any extra to parcel out. He also wanted me to "wait" on him, but he couldn't guarantee that we'd be together. I waited for about a month, while he went through his moods - first he was angry at me (for what I could do to him), then he was confused, then he was unsure. Finally around the beginning of June, Evan and I went to visit my sister and bro-in-law in Tennessee, and I decided to put my profile back up on Match.com. Yes, that is how I met Greg, and I had had good luck on the website, so I thought I would again. Lo and behold, I met Patrick.
Patrick is a chemist (if you haven't figured it out, I LOVE smart men) and works for Proctor and Gamble. He is way, way smarter than Greg ever dreamed of being, plus I always did like chemistry better than physics. We have the same sense of humor, we like the same music and shows/movies, plus it's just really comfortable being around him. We just passed our 2 month anniversary, and I'm really hoping that this will be the man I grow old with. He is so different, I don't feel pressure to be a certain way; I don't always have to look at certain way; I can act like a retard if I want to (and he generally acts like one right back at me.) We are comfortable just being ourselves, and we love each other for it. The kids think he's great (because, like me, he is an overgrown child.) Could this be it?? I have a really good feeling...more on him later.
Ron has a girlfriend, and apparently I'm not important anymore. Even though we've been through so much together, we haven't talked and it breaks my heart more than you'd ever know. I thought we'd always be friends - I thought we'd always be close. Again, I'm tired and I can whine about his later. This subject will require a lot of time and space.
My mom is just being a bitch. I know that doesn't sound very nice, but you don't know my mom. Since my stepdad died, I've become the beast of burden, so to speak. My bro-in-law told Patrick that he felt really sorry for me because of this. Don't worry, you will get an earful on a future blog. Year and years of frustration and hurt will be spilled, and you will be thinking "DAMN."
So, I'm off to bed now. I will blog on in a day or two, probably Tuesday night. I'm really going to try to be consistent, because if I can get this stuff off my chest, maybe I won't be as stressed. Who knows, it's worth a try. See ya.
